Teenagers, Why Do They Make You Want to Give Them the Boot?

Why will my son or daughter never listen to me? Why do they consistantly decide to make bad decisions? How can I keep them safe without locking them in their room? Parents across the country are faced with these types of problems on a daily basis. Understanding you child is the first step in trying to avoid some pitfalls during the teen years.

In this article, I will detail out some of the experiences I have faced with my daughter. While I am not a professionally trained counselor, by any stretch of the imagination, I have had plenty of experience running into these types of scenrios.

Teenagers are in a precarious poition on a daily basis.  They know enough about life to be considered dangerous, and they are trying to begin making life choices without seeking advice.  They will begin listening to their friends more often and tend to hide choices they have made from you as long as they can.

Parents need to understand that this is all apart of the growing pains we all went through as teens.  We tell ourselves that we only want them to have it easier than we had it growing up and that is why we tell them the things that we do.  While you totally are correct in your thinking from a parental viewpoint, teens have a different view on life and normally your ideas are last on their list.

The best advice I can give you is to keep giving them advice but do not get your feelings hurt if they decide not to listen.  While I know they act like they are not listening, a parents best tool is being able to get inside their heads when they are making their decisions.  Basically, you are hoping that the pinball approach, advice rattling around in that big empty space, will stick when they need it most.

Teens are always one step away from making a decision that could affect their whole life. Whether it is deciding who to hang out with, who they are dating, or who to catch a ride with to school, teens are beginning to make life choices on an increasingly faster rate. The older they get, the more decisions they will have to make on their own and that is when the true fun begins.

While most of us wish we could just ground them into submission, we have to let them out every now and than by law, at least that is what I have been told anyways. When they leave the house, I still feel the need to ask them where they are going, who they are going to be hanging out with, and how are they getting there. More often than not, your teen will likely give you some backlash at these questions, but I don't really care. While answering my questions normally won't affect the plans they made, they still need to know sublimally that you care what they are doing.

When a teenager gets into some serious trouble, you will more than likely be the last person they will talk to about it. They will fear the consequences you can add onto the problem if the issue is big enough. Understanding your childs normal attitudes and personality traits will go along way towards being able to assist them in a time of need.

When talking with your child on a normal day, you know when they are in a happy, sad, or angry mood. You know when something happened at school just by listening to the reflection in reponses to normal questions. Here is a typical reponse I get when my daughter is in a bad mood.

"What is on T.V.?" My quesiton

"I don't really care. Don't you have someone else to talk to?" Her answer.

While I am overexagerrating a little bit, (depends on what day we are talking about, if it ends in Y I might not be) when your teen gives you some flack over a very simple question like the one above you need to ask your son or daughter what is wrong. As with any individual that gets stressed out, teens are not immune to these types of issues. Handling stress takes a long time to figure out how to deal with it effectively.

Listen up all you parents out there!  It will never end until the day they finally get out on their own.  Whether that happens naturally, or when it happens because you can legally wash your hands of them, you need to hang in there and try not to lose patience.  Maintaining a solid foundation for them to lean on in times of need is important for their self confidence.  Knowing that you are there when they do get to a breaking point is more important than anything else. 

In the meantime, while you are waiting for them to come to you, keep in mind the techniques I detailed above and you might be able to alleviate some of the issues they will face along the way.  That is if they let you.